First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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