Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
