dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
