the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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