So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
