Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
