i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
