we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize