so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
