haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
