I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
