Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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