If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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