dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So vagazzling was a success
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
