Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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