Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
