i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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