dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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