i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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