Me. At least after what I've been through.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
