I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
pray to the hookup gods
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
