it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
