it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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