Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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