and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
