the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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