is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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