ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
