Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
