I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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