last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
