If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you would pick up someone in the library
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
