And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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