wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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