You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
