It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
