i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
