She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
