Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
