Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
