Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
