i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
