Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
