I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
