this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
