I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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