Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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