Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
