I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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