you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
