I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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